Not getting enough exercise? Just get an old style TV. You know, big wooden console with a bunch of knobs on the front and some tiny "what the hell are these for?" on the back.
Get up, walk over to it. Stand there, bend over, turn it on, select the channel, tune in the picture and adjust the sound.
Go back to your chair and sit down.
Sound will not be right and/or picture will not be clear.
Get up, walk back to TV, bend over to find the little knob that makes things better. Step away from the TV to see how the picture looks. If necessary, step back to the TV, bend over (or squat, depending on model), make more adjustments, and walk back to chair.
In 30 minutes to an hour, your show will be over and you will have to get out of chair, walk to TV and repeat steps above. During prime time, you will be able to do several repetitions of this series of exercises... and run to the kitchen for a snack or to the bathroom for a break in between.
For extra endurance training, go outside and turn the TV antenna to get the channel you want to see but can't because the antenna's pointing in the wrong direction. Come back in to check the picture. Go in and out, turning the antenna until picture is clear, and you are breathing heavily.
For strength training, try to lift TV.
Our next article will cover fitness in a 3-speed stickshift car.
Donovan Baldwin